my double x-chromosome failed me…

by santoki

There are moments that I love being a girl.

This is not one of them.

It isn’t so much the biological issues that every gal must go through. That, I can deal with. My problem is with the expectations that people have of me because I’m a girl.

Be a caregiver. Check.

Be nurturing. Done.

Cook up a mean short rib. You bet.

Bake a strawberry rhubarb pie. Getting better each summer.

Good with kids. Adequate to positive.

Dress someone up. Less confident.

Dress myself. Personal nightmare.

You see, when it comes to having an eye for aesthetics, something went a bit off in the wiring. It’s not that I have no taste. I know what I like. I know what is lovely. I have a style that some might call eclectic. Unfortunately, when it comes to the application of said vision, something gets seriously lost in the translation.

Right now, four burly men are moving some very pretty rented furniture into my new Summer in Tribeca digs. Everything looked so lovely on the web site. Do you want to know why? It isn’t the huge rooms, and it isn’t the perfect lighting. It’s because the folks that “dress” the room have a clue.

The couch is a pullout!

That’s right. I have no effin’ idea how to arrange furniture. You see, while telling the movers where to put what, they gave me a look that’s usually reserved for tourists and puppies. It was that “oh my goodness. What is she thinking? There must be a rolled up newspaper around here somewhere,” look. I think my phrase of the evening was “Um… You don’t think so?” A little humiliated, I ended up deferring to their better judgment. That’s right. I let the movers arrange the furniture.

It’s not for not trying. Those who know and love me are full aware of my curious placement of things. It took me a while, but I think I’ve got it figured out. I like furniture arranged so that life looks good from a sitting position. Mind you, it isn’t from every sitting position. Just from the position that I find myself wanting to occupy, the “power seat,” if you will. Unfortunately, that usually leaves the room looking very, what’s the word? Oh. That’s right. Ugly. At least, that is from an upright position.

But you know what? I don’t really care. Check out those humongous windows!