360 degrees, imaginary weekend style

by santoki


My life in turn around might have turned all the way around and come back to where it started. I received a bit of news today that put a crimp in my six month plan. A plan that didn’t exist before Saturday. With everything that still might happen, I can’t help but feel that I imagined everything. All I am saying is that I probably should have left the SI Cover off of my blog.

Still cryptic? As always. Suffice it to say, I am not too concerned.

It is a world of extremes, I guess. Either I am too careful, in a “Watch out! You’ll break it!” kind of way, or living at the polar opposite, overly enthusiastic “I am the coolest human alive, so stuff that!” manner. Kind of a strange way to live, but it works for me. Sort of.

The first leaves me in the protective, cotton wool of honest pessimism. Don’t put yourself out there, you might get hurt. Don’t tell that person something, you might be wrong. Don’t want that, you will just be disappointed. Don’t open that door, there might be a boogie man on the other side. Not the best attitude I will admit, but it has kept me alive. Alive, and very, very bored.

It wasn’t always like this. My duvet of safety is a product of my ridiculously enthusiastic brain. As a rule, enthusiasm is a dangerous toy. Things have a tendency to lean towards ruin when propped up with too much joy. They become pipe dreams of a tier one school. They become a job that, as of now, is going through serious materialization problems. They are cute boys with histories longer than the Napoleonic Wars. Maybe that last one isn’t so bad.

ARGH! April 25th resolution: to heck with it. Don’t worry so much. Be excited. Disappointments are temporary, but time bored is gone forever. I guess that whatever happens, happens. If I am staying in Chicago, it is hardly what I can call a bad thing. After all, barbecues!

I am off to paint some faces!